Funny thing about criticism – at least with me – is that I’ll try to rationalize why I did whatever it is for whatever reason, but eventually that nagging feeling they were right will weigh me down and I’ll buckle and give in. I sent Under, the latest script, for paid coverage – yes, I know, it’s not the best way of doing it, but it was a test run for Detox which very, very, very badly needs an objective, professional opinion. Anyway, they pretty much bashed every aspect of it. At first, I wasn’t too miffed since I knew it wasn’t the best script – it’s a simple monster film. And I couldn’t get mad since I knew they were right in everything they said. What stung was that it could have been said about nearly any script about monsters of late: Cloverfield, The Descent, etc. But I think I can see where I went wrong.
I didn’t realize how much the criticism had affected me until the next day when I found myself in quite the funk. I had figured out how to get one of the more slippery scripts to work, but didn’t want to touch it. Why? What’s the point? It’s gonna suck. Yeah, it was one of those kinds of days.
Then, this morning I got an email from FilmBaby who sells “The Bet” online saying that due to a lack of warehouse space and lack of sales on “The Bet,” they are ready to return all but one DVD which – according to them – is a 2-3 month supply. I have until mid-August to prove them wrong. My main reason (other than pride) for wanting to have a larger inventory with them is that it’s expensive to ship DVDs and if I sell that one, I’ll need to ship more. Commerce sucks.
So, clearly it has not been the most promising week where my future in filmmaking is concerned. Not to mention I’m on the verge of returning to work which makes these past few months feel like they’ve been wasted with nothing to show for them besides a 13th draft of Detox and a failed attempt at another script. I’m a bit under the gun.
So, I’m not giving up. I’m giving that slippery script another chance to come out. It’s certainly not my last idea or hope. In a few weeks, we’ll be submitting Detox for coverage. I think that’s where my fear is. If that is completely bashed…